Tag Archives: Search Engine

How Doris Was Found:

I adore The Bloggess, she is without a doubt one of my favourite bloggers, ever since a friend of mine slid into a Facebook status update and said, “you should read Jenny Lawson’s book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened because she is basically you” and I thought well, if someone is basically going to be me, I will undoubtedly love her! So I was happy when I received her book alongside Caitlin Moran’s How to Be a Woman on Valentine’s Day as a special gift from myself to myself, because at the time I was the only person who really loved me (except my sister, who got me a cocktail glass and some socks with pugs on them, which really is the epitome of both my personality and true love).

Anyways, after I finished reading the book with a sense of emptiness and sadness that would ensue for a life time, until I forgot about the details of the book and picked it up again to read it anew, I decided I would Google her and LOW AND BEHOLD she had a blog. I’m not really sure who I thought she was at first, I thought she was just a random woman who had decided to write a biography, which I thought was an amazing idea and would encourage you all to do the same (which I am also doing in my Mad About the Brain: My Journey From There to Here posts! I guess it would be more fun to actually make a book and for people to want to buy that book and also to make money off that book, but I think it’s fun and one day I will rule the world, so what’s a bit of free work for ya’ll to consume?!) So I spent an indeterminate amount of time (meaning I am too embarrassed to admit how long I slouched over my laptop reading her blog) reading Jenny’s posts and developed a not entirely appropriate lady crush on her, her writing style and evident talent.

Some of my favourite posts included searches people had done to find her blog and some of the words typed into search engines were hilarious, as were her attached notes. I sometimes update Twitter on the fact that people from particular countries sometimes read, especially when it’s new and I get excited and I sometimes tell them about how people found my blog, but, inspired by Jenny, I’ve decided to write a blog about some of the search results that have led people to my blog lately, because I find them all strange, amazing and hilariously worrying. Here we go:

  • Eminem Sex Fantasy – which makes sense because I wrote about one of his songs a while ago.
  • There is nothing painful done someone you love telling you she daze love you anymore – which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but I do feel very sorry for the person who feels so sad that he/she typed (admittedly, rather incoherently) about painful feels. I am sorry internet human, they probably weren’t worth it! You rock!
  • The Male Chastity Lifestyle Goals Checklist – which I had to Google, because I have absolutely no idea what that is. I also had to go through many pages of male chastity websites to find my blog, but it was indeed up there. I still don’t know what a male chastity lifestyle goals checklist is, so if anyone is reading this and does know, holla at your girl, because she’s none the wiser.

These ones aren’t particularly hilarious and I understand that, given the content of my blog, that there will be some people searching for things and ending up very angry that they haven’t found what they’ve been looking for. But, I am also very happy that it is bringing visitors to my site that I am not harassing via social media, so I guess everyone’s a winner, right?

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