Tag Archives: Opinion

Selfish Selfies: Why I love The Selfie

I’m going to write a blog. But first? Let me take a selfie…

The Selfie has become an element of society that is so deeply ingrained within pop-culture, that it was bound to raise a few eyebrows and prompt a few head shakes from the media. Selfie culture has gone from a few teenagers taking pictures of themselves in their bedroom, to an overwhelmingly successful industry that not only includes The Selfie Stick, but an opening in the market for Kim Kardashian to slip into, thus creating Selfish the first Selfie book.

aa

Within the media, selfies generally are attributed to an overwhelming sense of narcissism, only further perpetuated by our use of social media; it enhances the concept of digital narcissism and our innate desire to brag, show off and become constantly apparent in everyone’s lives. There are countless articles online that perpetuate the concept that being appreciative of one’s appearance is wrong and that posting a picture of yourself looking good because you feel good makes you a self-absorbed monster and is representative of something very wrong, not only with social media as a whole, but you specifically are more likely to be a pervert, a psychopath and must have something very, very wrong with you. A selfie is tantamount to you standing on a stage, overtly seeking approval from your peers by screaming, ‘LOOK AT ME’ and not at all as a result of a simple, innocuous action as a result of feeling good about yourself. The concept of feeling good, feeling self-confident and thinking you look good is entirely inert within this research – it seems that general opinion dictates that if you take selfies, then you are insecure, constantly seeking the approval of others and are dangerously narcissistic.

This is, I think, why social media is seemingly agog with the concept of Kim K releasing her very own selfie-positive book: people are openly questioning why there is a space for her in the market to release a book and further questions as to why she’s famous and making more money in a day than most of us will in a life time. Granted, I understand the concept of becoming unimaginably rich beyond your wildest dreams by sucking dick and cleaning up after Paris Hilton doesn’t seem like reason enough for someone to be at a level of fame that releasing a book full of pictures of themselves is possible, but I can’t help that Kim Kardashian’s overt declaration of self-love is a positive thing: it stands up against the media’s perception of how people should look, it cries out against their perceptions of narcissism and re-appropriates the concept of feeling good about yourself – it renders the media inert, in a sense, because now we have pictures of Kim Kardashian, released and approved by Kim K herself, what do we need the paparazzi shots for?

As a woman and as someone who is very conscious about how women are perceived within the media and pop-culture itself, I support Kim Kardashian wholeheartedly; she has reclaimed her appearance, her physique and the media’s perception thereof and has thus rendered any other means of viewing pictures of her obsolete; she is a social media magnate and when we want to see pictures of Kim K, we don’t rush out to buy the latest magazine, we open Twitter or Instagram and look a pre-approved, consensual photographs taken by the woman herself. Kim Kardashian has done an incredibly positive and seemingly intelligent thing: She has reclaimed herself and has taken ownership of her physique away from the media/paparazzi. Isn’t that at least worthy of a round of applause and standing ovation?

Other celebrities are following in her footsteps, too, rendering our desire to buy the likes of Heat magazine and tabloids non-existent. Taylor Swift, for example, uses social media to document parties, gatherings and other social events with her celebrity/model friends; they pose, they pout and they represent a positive view of how women behave socially, rather than the paparazzi shots of women falling out of clubs and flashing their knickers, which is the image of choice or desire of any major publication; a non-consensual image of a woman flashing her private parts is more appropriate to the media than a consensual picture of two celebrities smiling widely on a night out. Rihanna, whilst her photos are slightly less child-friendly than Swift’s, also render a paparazzi shot of her obsolete; if we want to see Rihanna in a bikini smoking weed on a boat, then we go to her Instagram page. Legions of celebrities are following suit, presumably because their lives, their appearances and their bodies are overwhelmingly dictated by the media; these insights into their lives are real and they are positive and far more accurate representations of how celebrities behave and the media dislike it, because, again… it renders them pointless. Naturally, the media are against selfies and want to demonise them for all involved in the movement, but I for one see through it and celebrate women like Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift and Rihanna, for reclaiming their bodies and images as their own; they aren’t there for paparazzi consumption any more – if we want to experience a vicarious view into the lives of these women, that’s what social media is for, and better yet, it’s free!

1

I promote selfies because I believe that all people should feel confident and happy in their own skins and I feel that the media intrusion into what we should and shouldn’t find attractive and what we should and shouldn’t be doing with our own bodies and appearances is a negative impact on our self-esteem. We’re not insecure for posting a picture of ourselves. We’re not narcissistic for thinking we look good and document it for others to see and we aren’t psychopaths for promoting the importance of self-appreciation; we’re normal, attractive humans and a celebration of self should be part of our daily routine. So let’s all raise our smartphones and selfie sticks in the air and celebrate being humans, am I right?! #LookingGoodGuys

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We’re Not Safeguarding Children, We’re Censoring Society:

If you follow me on Twitter, then you may have seen my recent tweets regarding the restrictions that have been placed on the porn industry. As someone who is both sexual and an appreciator of people exploring and forming their own sexual enjoyments/pursuits within a safe and consensual manner, it might be obvious that I am extremely annoyed at the recent reform within our pornographic film making community.

Here are a few items that have been listed as specially restricted material:

Spanking
Caning
Aggressive whipping
Penetration by any object “associated with violence”
Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)
Urolangia (known as “water sports”)
Female ejaculation
Strangulation
Face Sitting
Fisting

The last three have been regarded as ‘life endangering’, which is why they feature on the list. (Source)

The new laws placed on the porn industry seem positively draconian and the reasons behind the bans are blurry to say the least; what is suggested as an attempt to safeguard children from being able to access pornography seems more like an overt attempt at controlling and censoring elements of sex that do not fit in with the seemingly patriarchal view of what is deemed acceptable methods of discourse: Everything that is not considered within the normative practices of sexual activity have been banned, meaning that if you’re into BDSM or a member of the LGBT community, or indeed, a woman into female dominated sexual activity, you are being undoubtedly censored from accessing and enjoying content prevalent to your sexual interests.

It certainly seems that the restrictions are more than a little one sided and that the majority of bans seem to focus on any form of female enjoyment, or any role in which a female is dominant, which would be hilarious, if it wasn’t so terribly sad. It’s a concept that is so bizarre, that it confuses and shames me that we have to be discussing the concept of female sexuality as something that has no place in pornography – it’s perfectly akin to the Victorian times when women were locked up for being sexually aware and had their clitoris’ removed in order to return to the dutiful housewife and mother roles society were accustomed to. Effectively, these bans are attempting to reinforce the overtly patriarchal views that women are not sexual entities that require pleasure or the freedom to explore our sexuality: We are objects to be either controlled for the sexual gratification of the man, or an orifice in which to deposit seed for reproductive purposes.

If you’re male and reading this thinking, bollocks, utter feminist bollocks, what the fuck is this halfwit talking about? Then riddle me this: Female ejaculation has been banned, but male ejaculation is still both legal and widely available to view. Why? What is so terribly wrong about female ejaculation? Is it that it’s rare and slightly difficult to do without the aid of toys/extreme patience? Therefore, the ban is in place to make men feel less shit if they try to make a woman squirt and fail? Is it the fact that within porn, the main focus and enjoyment from a male perspective is watching the pretty little lady get covered in another man’s spunk? Because, to me, if I was a man watching porn, surely I’d be getting off at the fact that I can see juices gushing from a woman’s vagina at the moment of climax and not an oversized appendage shooting out spunk? Or am I being naïve? Of course I am, this has no relevance to the reason behind the ban: it’s not about who is coming, so long as it’s not the female as the entire concept of female sexuality is still in 2014 being discussed as though it’s an unnecessary element of sexual discourse; that by empowering the women in porn will result in real women’s expectations being higher and that their dominance in the bedroom becomes a threat to male sexuality, which is the real issue here, right?

The aforementioned is beside the point, if you ask me, regardless of who has control or who the protagonist in the porn film is, or who’s spunk shot would we rather see, the restrictions, attempts at censorship and bans are far more disappointing and worrying for a plethora of other reasons that affect us all, regardless of our sexual interests or gender.

If the alleged reason behind why the bans are in place at all is, in fact, to do with the safeguarding of children, surely an all-out ban and censorship on the porn industry altogether would be a far more successful tactic, rather than just banning the elements that allow people to pursue interests that do not coincide with the normative views on sexual activities? Because, if this really is about child protection, I don’t see how simply banning the bits they don’t want kids to see is a successful tactic. Surely educating parents into monitoring their children’s internet activity and not allowing them access to sites that allow anyone to buy porn movies is the issue here? If a child is viewing strangulation porn, or a little girl sees a porn star sitting on her co-star’s face and then re-enacts it, killing a child in the playground, surely the fact that their parents haven’t been looking after them properly is the issue? Not, in fact, the porn industry that is responsible for creating consensual content targeted at adult audiences who know that not everyone is into strangulation or having their testicles stamped on.

Furthermore, these bans may be an attempt to safeguard our children, but what about safeguarding adults, both men and women, regardless of sexual interests or orientation? Because, banning these alleged ‘life endangering’ pornographic films that are movies, at the end of the day; a re-enactment within a safe, consensual and legal environment, surely only creates a gap in the market that will be filled by people who aren’t at all bothered with the safety, consent or legalities involving sexual pursuits. If there is room within the black market, for example, for a film including penetration with something that can be perceived as a weapon, then surely that opens up a whole new can of worms for us to be extremely concerned about… and we should be concerned.

The bans that were put in place will only prove to be foolhardy and incredibly counterproductive and that the decision to place these bans only reiterate the fact that there are preconceived notions of what is considered ‘normal’ sex and that anything beyond the male/female sexual encounter resulting in male-only ejaculation (thus pleasure) is what society is promoting as correct. It’s a perpetuation of all of the worrying elements of society that include the increasing patriarchal view that women are inferior and if a man says ‘yes’, it doesn’t matter if she says ‘no’ and it reiterates that female sexuality is wrong and something to be avoided at all costs. I think these bans are incredibly dangerous not only to our UK porn industry (we didn’t cover the topic that yet another element of our economy is now being imported, essentially), but to anyone who CHOOSES to pursue a non-vanilla lifestyle and women who believe their sexuality is just as important as their male counterparts. I believe it will result in further violence against women via illegal movies made featuring the banned content and I believe it will prove to be a futile endeavour: We’re not safeguarding children, we’re censoring society.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rape or Little White Lies?

Apparently, I am a part of a demographic that is more likely to cry about and lie about being raped. No, seriously, a man on Twitter told me, so it must be true. This man is on a noble quest to rid the world of the blatantly sexist women that exist everywhere, fighting for the rights of convicted rapists and the horrific slights that men have persistently faced for centuries in both their work and personal lives at the hands of vicious and vitriolic women whose sole purpose in life is to perpetuate the inherently misandrist culture that poor men have to be a part of. As someone who lost her virginity as a result of rape and was terrified into silence (because who is going to believe me, a girl from The Valley, when the son of a police chief is far more believable), I was pretty shocked to be pigeonholed, if I’m honest. But, of course I was. After all, I’m a woman and he’s a middle class white man with his very own business; he is powerful and I am not. He doesn’t have to shower me with facts to make his point clear; pulling little white lies out of his arse and attempting to blow smoke up the arses of silly little women daring to make their opinions on rapists clear instead of sitting in the corner, waiting to be spoken to by her master, is perfectly acceptable. I sometimes have to be reminded that I’m a just a little woman. So, I have to admit, that it was no surprise to me that when I woke up this morning and heard the news of Janice Dickinson’s revelations that she was among the many women who had been sexually assaulted and raped by Bill Cosby, that she was accused of lying. Because, of course she was.

Rape is one of the most horrific things that a woman can suffer and whilst in the last year 22,000 rapes were reported by women, we found out yesterday that roughly 25% of rape and sexual assault reports were simply dropped by the police, victim not contacted; forgotten about, as though it was a nonchalant comment made half-heartedly, the assumption being that it wasn’t important enough to pursue and that’s the problem… when a woman reports a rape or sexual assault, it’s ultimately put into the hands of other people, both women and men, who, even though they aren’t the victim or the attacker, are allowed to have their own personal stake in whether or not victims become one of the 25% who are simply ignored, and therein lies the problem; when a woman is raped, it becomes public property and victims have absolutely no control over who contacts them to offer support or otherwise.

The truth is, there’s simply not enough education out there for men on what rape is. Men are allowed to choose to believe that rape is non-existent or something that a woman cries if she regrets her dalliances the night before, which simply isn’t true. Whilst women are taught preventative measures to stop themselves from being in a vulnerable position, men are left to their own devices and allowed to form their own opinions on rape and what can be classified as rape, opinions they are allowed to form themselves with no lessons from professionals or otherwise. Then, we have people like laugh a minute, comedy hero, Dapper Laughs, who promotes and normalises rape culture, whether it be intentional or not, passing comments that are absorbed by lad culture and heralded as comedy, rather than potentially damaging rhetoric that can endanger women everywhere. Of course, I am generalising, and I know that the majority of men are not inherent rapists, but I believe the general masculine consensus on rape is she could be lying.

Unless you look like a victim, then you won’t be treated like a victim. Unless you play up to the fact that you have been violated and allow a horrific time in your life to encapsulate your future, then you won’t be treated like a victim. You have to want to be treated like a victim, staring forlornly into a camera, speaking in great detail about your anguish five minutes after it has happened. Or sitting in the dark with a voice changer morphing your words lamenting publicly about your human rights being violated, then you won’t be treated like a victim, which is exactly why Janice Dickinson has been slammed for being a liar today. She is glamorous, advocates plastic surgery, has talked brazenly and unashamedly about her sex life; someone who has had sex with Mick Jagger and talked about it can’t be a victim of rape, she had to do it willingly, therefore she’s lying.

It’s so easy to accuse a woman of lying about rape and it’s so easy for us to sit in our glass houses, throwing stones with little or no knowledge about rape at all. Do you know what a woman has to go through if she is brave enough to approach police about being raped? The sheer horror is, unless you report a rape immediately after, with his semen still trickling down your legs, then the likelihood of you being believed is dramatically decreased. The truth is, as victims, we need to willingly wear our horrific attacks like scarlet letters; broadcasting to everyone that we have been violated. We can’t wear make-up, or dress in any way that can be perceived as provocative; we need to become shells of our former selves and allow our rape to define us for the rest of our lives. Why? To protect men, of course.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

We are Feminists, Hear us Roar:

This year, we have seen an increasing surge in women identifying themselves as feminists and, perhaps worryingly, it seems that there are those out there who think that this is a bad thing. There are some who believe the current resurgence of feminism and celebrities identifying themselves as feminists will result in the movement become too ‘trendy’, rendering the movement obsolete, which would be an overwhelmingly demonstrable slap in the face to ‘real’ feminists everywhere. There have been celebrities, models and normal people taking to social media to express their worry at feminism being this season’s ‘hot accessory’ and deeming it a phase that people are going through, but is this really a bad thing? All I can see happening within the movement now is a hierarchy developing, which to me, seems to be more dangerous to feminism than the increasing volume of misogynists, or the ‘women against feminism’ movement – it feels to me that a feminist hierarchy would only perpetuate certain stereotypes placed on women and feminists throughout history, thus creating a dangerous environment for women to be a part of – feminism is becoming increasingly like a bad teen movie set in a high school, rather than an empowering and important movement to identify oneself with.

After I posted my response to Chloe Hamilton’s article on Zoella, I spoke to Brain who told me that articles like that are why people don’t take feminism seriously. I’m paraphrasing here, because it was ages ago and I thought he was trying to attack my article, but it’s something that resonated with me quite deeply (thus why I’m regurgitating it now): He said something along the lines of ‘one woman says something bad about another woman, because she’s not being the right type of feminist, and then there are you are, posting something else, which could be misconstrued by another feminist, creating a cycle of what the right kind of feminism should be’ (he said this way less articulately than I have, but that’s what I’m here for, to make him sound good!). I can’t help but agree, though, and it’s unfortunate that a really important lesson in feminism has come from someone who often (in jest) calls me a ‘dick hating feminist’ to get on my nerves. He is someone who has no real interest in feminism, other than me I guess, and he has said something that I find the most appropriate statement regarding feminism that I’ve heard in the past year. Something which I feel resonates quite deeply with the notion of there being a feminist hierarchy.

Earlier in the year, I wrote that I had become a little disenfranchised by the notion of feminism and questioned whether there was room for a feminist like me within the movement and it’s something that I’ve questioned time and time again. The sheer fact that I referred to there being a room for a ‘feminist like me’ is exactly the point I’m trying to make; there is a feminist hierarchy and it seems to me like I’m pretty low down in the ranks. Personally, I feel that unless you’re a feminist standing on the front lines, preparing for war, there isn’t really a huge deal of room for you in the dizzying heights of the feminist hierarchy; that’s the type of feminist you’re supposed to aspire to be, you become that after many years of patriarchy smashing. You have to earn your stripes before you can become a proper feminist. Simply identifying as a feminist isn’t enough; you can’t be a feminist for your own private reasons, or because you’re a woman who believes in equality any more – you have to be constantly fighting. You can’t be a feminist just because you’re a woman, you have to have a reason: I don’t want to be cat-called in the street, I don’t want to fear rape if I wear a short skirt or get drunk, I don’t want to go to work and be treated differently because I didn’t have the sheer luck of being born with a cock and balls. These feminists, the women who simply are feminists are the lowest ranking members in the supposed feminism hierarchy; you can’t make jokes about being a pussy and then complain when you’re stuck in the middle with misogynists, so to speak.

SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE

Admittedly, I feel a little bit like the girl near the end of Mean Girls, who just wants everyone to get along, paint rainbows on their faces, eat cookies and snuggle whilst reading extracts from The Feminine Mystique or How to be a Woman to one another, but I think, the way some women are reacting to feminism right now, it’s not too bad an idea. When I write about feminism, or write about anything to do with the movement, it’s not men whose reaction I fear – its fellow women’s. And that’s not right. I feel that, the way things are going, the movement will become vitriolic to new members; to the youth of tomorrow. Feminism isn’t some high school game we should be partaking in to find the new Regina George of feminism; it was a movement that began in order to find gender equality in all walks of life, to achieve the vote, to be able to go to work and receive equal pay. To be the type of woman who can write about feminism or gender inequality or being mistreated due to gender on a blog without fearing the censorship of the patriarchy; as feminists, we need to support one another regardless of how ‘real’ their brand of feminism really is. Because, to me, the hierarchy that is evident, particularly within social media circles, is exactly the reason why feminism isn’t taken seriously and why people can call it a ‘trend’. The vitriol present within the movement will be the source of its demise and we have to be careful.

In order to counteract movements such as ‘Women Against Feminism’ and the recent ‘Meninist’ movement, we need to acknowledge and welcome supporters AND critics of feminism, regardless of gender. Yes, by all means, strap on your Doc Marten’s and smash the patriarchy until it’s bloody and battered, after all, that is your choice, but it’s also my choice not to. And that’s something that people need to start reiterating: Feminism is a choice and does not have a strict set of rules you need to adhere to, to be a ‘proper’ feminist. You’re a woman, you control your body, you have a voice and an opinion that deserves to be heard. That is what we need to be supporting here, that feminism is a choice and that your opinions are worthy of our time; the sooner people realise that, the sooner we can forget about silly trends and childish hierarchies.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lena Dunham: Not That Kind of Girl?

If you’ve been living under a rock this weekend, (or in my case, the comfortable, safe haven of Brain’s ‘nook’) like me, you may have missed the Twitter storm that came a-brewin’ against Lena Dunham for certain passages written in her memoirs Not That Kind of Girl. As someone who is both a fan of Dunham and the older sister of a fellow female human, I can’t say that I was surprised to see that the media had picked up on inappropriate passages within the novel and called her on it publically.

When I first read the passage, I remember thinking ‘hmm… This is a bit weird, should she be writing this?’ and thought to myself that no real sexual predator would admit to molesting their younger sister so openly, so pushed it to one side, trying to remember if I’d done anything in my childhood that could be misconstrued as inappropriate and dangerous to my little sister’s development into adulthood… I hadn’t, just to be clear. I mean, at least nothing sexual, I don’t think I helped her OCD by perpetuating her fear of never getting to stand on a leaf again, so she would stand there for ages just stamping on it until the rest of the family were miles away and she looked like a tiny little dot, stamping away on some leafy corpse, which eventually led into a facial tick that my parents were mortified about, but I also don’t think that I could be directly blamed for that and she doesn’t do it anymore, so I guess I’m in the clear. So, when I read this morning that it was picked up by the media and she has been accused by countless people of being a child molester, I can’t say that I was surprised. What I was surprised at, was her backlash and request for people to stop twisting her words when she blatantly stated that she attempted numerous methods to woo her little sister, comparing herself to a sexual predator in those exact words right there in the passage. I’m glad it was picked up on and people had the same reaction to me that it was weird and inappropriate, but I can’t say that I think she’s a child molester. Or that she was, rather.

I think Dunham’s desired perception of herself is that people look to her as she quoted in the first season of Girls. She does see herself as the voice of our generation and whilst she does come out with statements that young women can resonate with and respond to positively, I think her attempts at being this independent voice that all young women are crying out for is misappropriated. There is no denying that she is an excellent writer and I can say hand on heart that I adored her memoirs, but I believe her writing style – her unabashed confidence in writing about truly intimate, borderline inappropriate and triggering details of her life – are misguided and can be perceived as being far more damaging than I feel Dunham even realises. Dunham grew up in a liberal, artsy type environment that seemingly celebrated the bizarre and creativity in abundance, which is a childhood set up that I’ve always wanted to be a part of, so I totally understand her joy at being able to write so brazenly about everything from her sexual awakening to two different accounts of being raped (same person, but she wrote about them differently to highlight how she enjoys embellishments within stories), to another account of potentially being groomed by her teacher, but I think as a woman so admired by fellow women everywhere and as someone who seems to attempt to perpetuate the ideals that she is the voice of our generation, she should have thought about and chosen her words more carefully.

I’m a strong believer in writing about personal details of my life. In my blog I have written about my former relationship, which was tempestuous and unenjoyable, I’ve written about depression, general anxiety disorder and feeling so low about myself that I attempted suicide and I’ve written once or twice about being raped when I was a teenager – these are potentially triggering to people who have read them, but I also think they’re vitally important pieces of information to have written on my blog; they not only define the person I am today, but they go to show that for anyone struggling with these things themselves: It happens to people, it is horrible, but there are people here for you and there are people who can testify that it will get better. We write about these things to highlight how common these issues are and to be a support network for all involved. Or at least, that’s why I do it. So, there are elements of Dunham’s memoirs that I feel are highly appropriate, even if I do feel the nonchalance in which she writes about them disturbing. I feel she detaches herself from everything she writes; therefore negating any aspect of responsibility for if/when shit hits the fan, such as these sexual predator comments.

As I mentioned before, Dunham states within the memoirs that she does embellish stories and that her sister has called her out on it so many times, because she does tend to add pieces of false information to try and create more drama out of the story and to make it more interesting, and whilst I don’t feel that this could be an appropriate defence, I just feel as though the stories about masturbating whilst her sister lies asleep next to her and opening her sister’s vagina and there happening to be rocks in there… It just all seems farfetched to me. Like, I have always been so close to my sister and we’ve talked about everything with each other, from our first kisses, to the first time we received the joy that is known as cunnilingus (her reaction was far more visceral to mine, she actually shouted OH MY GOD IT WAS SO GOOD, SO GOOD! Whilst clenching her fists together, whereas my reaction was ‘I don’t think he knew what he was doing, it was more like a dog having a drink at the end of a really long walk’) and we still discuss intimate details of our sex lives and show our boobs to each other, I still see her naked because she insists on pissing in front of me, even when I ask her not to… just I as I causally leave sex toys lounging around the bathroom/bedroom for her to see, even though she thinks it’s a bit weird. Sisters generally are close. Not close enough to discover rocks in each other’s vaginas, but you know, pretty close.

Whilst I am not trying to defend Dunham for including such senseless and odd comments in her memoir, I don’t think that she molested her sister and I feel that these comments have been slightly misconstrued to fit the desires of her critics, but, I am also confident in saying that I think Dunham is a bit of a liar, that she embellishes her words in order to make them seem more interesting, for her to seem more quirky and individualistic and I think to do so in such a public setting such as a personal memoir and to compare oneself to a sexual predator is her, long overdue, in my opinion, comeuppance. I feel that this recent backlash against Dunham is appropriate and I feel that her defending herself against these critics by asking them to stop twisting her words is her embarrassment; it has brought to life how truly unoriginal she is and that she embellishes words and stories to gain a better reaction from readers; to seem quirkier and funnier. I don’t think she’s a child molester, but what I learned from her memoirs is that she isn’t as interesting as she attempts to convey herself. She is open about how she has suffered with mental illness and I think that is why some of the stuff she writes comes across as being generally quite disturbing; because she is so detached from things herself (which she openly admits), I think her actions come across as a little childish and selfish. From reading Not That Kind of Girl I can safely say that my resonating opinion when reading the novel was that she did seem like a little girl sitting at her first typewriter/laptop writing about things she thinks grown-ups are supposed to write about, which is perhaps why some of her language is wrong or … again, that word: misguided.

I certainly don’t think that Lena Dunham is a child molester, nor do I think she actively molested her sister when they were children. I think she is a confused young woman who has had such a meteoric rise to fame, that her embellishments have become such a prominent part of her success, that she has never truly had to acknowledge them or answer for them. Until her memoir, her writing has been for television or movies, where she has created characters based on life, but not necessarily 100% true to that life, so she has never truly had to acknowledge the damage that her little white lies can cause. Now, as I did state, I feel she has had her comeuppance thanks to recent events, and whilst I do feel deeply sorry for her, I hope that it has taught her to choose her words more carefully in future. As someone who has used a character to say the words I think I might be the voice of my generation, she should take on more responsibility and realise that to a lot of women, she really is that and her words, her embellishments affect us all, one way or the other.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,