10 Things I did Yesterday that I’m Not Totally Proud Of:

  1. Slept in until 09.38. When I woke up, I plodded in the living room in my Avengers Pjs, drank a Coke Zero and watched Jeremy Kyle.Jeremy Kyle looking aggressive
  2. Considered eating mouldy bread because there was none and then blaming my boyfriend that all the bread that ever comes into this house is destined to be a mouldy half loaf.
  3. Attempted the dishes, washed one plate and then stopped.
  4. Mimed and danced along to Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble four times. In a row.
  5. Rapped Outloud.
  6. Drank Bailey’s with my sister at 16.30 and decided there and then that I could happily be an alcoholic as long as alcohol was of decent quality and constantly supplied by someone other than me.
  7. Piling bottles upon bottles of wine in the basket when we went to the shop and then allowing my boyfriend to buy them for me.
  8. Allowing my boyfriend to tidy the entire flat after he’d been at work from 9-5, whilst I half heartedly did dishes and cooked a really easy meal and also sitting down and refusing to help whilst he did it.
  9. Cooking a really healthy and tasty meal for tea, then about an hour and a half later devouring a ciabatta loaf because hunger is endless.
  10. Calling my boyfriend a ‘cunt’ because I was winning at a game we were playing.
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